How to Cope with the Pain of Losing Someone
When you lose someone, the usual protocol is to surround yourself in good company and avoid being isolated for prolonged periods of time. But sadly we find ourselves in a situation where remaining physically isolated from others is necessary.
Isolation can make feelings of loneliness and grief more intense. It could mean having to stay by yourself in the same house you shared with the person who has passed away. It could mean that you are in your house full of family - but are each having to isolate from one other - which means the simple act of a hug will do the opposite of heal.
Worrying about external situations, such as the coronavirus outbreak, can mean that feelings of grief during a bereavement are not fully expressed.
You may be left without practical or emotional support at a time you need it most. The option of friends and family who might otherwise have been able to help with meals or shopping or company or distractions will most likely be unable to do so.
How to be there for yourself
Whilst you may feel alone, your grief isn't something you need to be alone with.
We are here for you – we have a helpline you can call, email or chat on. Details are below.
You can reach out to your friends and family. (If you find that your close circle aren't responding in a way that you would have thought - they might be feeling helpless at the depth of your grief in this unique situation. It can help to explain what you need at this time)
Rest and take care of yourself
This can sound obvious but at times like this when we are being encouraged to hide, it's easy to get lost! Try to get some fresh air or sunlight each day - even opening a window can help. Something that can be really helpful is doing exercise if you feel like you can, or just stepping outside for a few minutes.
Try to keep some form of structure to your day. When you're feeling lost it's easy to lose track of time. Keeping a regular routine of getting changed and eating meals at a usual time, whether you are on your own or part of a family group will help, even just a little.
Be patient with yourself. There are many stages of grief, which is a process that cannot be forced or rushed.
Try to go through the waves of emotions knowing that everything you feel is okay. Whatever you are feeling right now, is what you need to feel. Allow yourself the time to heal.
A great gift you can give to your loved one is forgiving them for any wrongdoings. By freeing yourself from this weight, you are being merciful to that person (and God tells us Allah will be merciful upon you too).
How MYH can help
Contact us by
phone 0808 808 2008
web chat www.myh.org.uk/live-chat
read our blog with useful tips here
No one is never really prepared for the paralysing pain of losing someone, yet Allah (SWT) reassures us that every hardship will eventually ease (94:5).
Macmillan specialise in end of life care and bereavement and grief. They have these services available:
Macmillan Support Line 0808 808 00 00 Mon-Fri 8am-8pm
Macmillan Community Forum You can connect with others going through grief and loss here
If you're looking for information on how to support someone who has lost a friend or family member, tap here.